Reflection

As I am going through the recovery process of a relationship that was very painful I have started to look back at the choices that I have made and realize that I am my own worst enemy.  I am a relatively happy person but I always feel alone and I find it difficult to let anyone get close to me.  Even though the issues that we had were well founded in the evidence and situations that came to pass there is a lot that I should of held myself accountable towards.

I loved you and wanted you to be safe and secure and have the ability to understand me.  I should have known better.  Eventually I will realize that a relationship that was built as quickly as our own has no real foundation in permanence and any understanding  is brutally superficial.

When I brought you here knowing what I know now everything would have been different.  Recounting the past is easy when standing at the thresh hold of the future.  I was blinded my own desire to not be alone and to have the chance to love again was something that I did not understand how to handle.  

I am most ashamed of not taking your own fears and concerns at heart and falling head first into a romance that was very one sided.  Your life was full of pain and torment and even though I did not know to what extent this entailed I should have still been aware and awake enough to see through the walls you put around yourself.

Moral of the story: Don't fall in love with crazy bitches

Sorry for the emo post but when I spend time alone with my thoughts I relive a lot of my own mistakes so that I will do my best to not relive them.  Every situation has a cause, effect, and a lesson to be learned.  I pray that I have finally learned mine.